


All We Need Is Us

by itsnotlove



Series: I adore you [1]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/M, Love, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-30 23:34:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8554093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsnotlove/pseuds/itsnotlove
Summary: "I love you."





	

Kida Masaomi had never been the sort of guy to focus on one part of a woman- let alone just one part of Saki.  He loved all of her, from the way the tips of her hair felt in his fingertips just after it had been cut, to the way the corners of her eyes crinkled when she smiled.  The obvious things, like thighs, breasts, and her waist, had never been his priority. It was each and every part of her that attracted him.  To say he favoured something over the others would be an insult to her, and he could never bring himself to do such a thing. 

 

Saki knew this, of course.  She knew that Kida hid his feelings behind terrible flirtation, testing the waters to make sure she wouldn’t laugh at him for saying something sweet.  He worked hard every single day to let her know that she was safe, and that he’d never leave her again.

 

Not that she’d ever believed he’d left in the first place. 

 

Regardless, since the pair had left Ikebukuro, Saki couldn’t help but notice a difference in Kida’s behaviour.  He still revered her, making sure to touch her lightly and whisper the sweetest sort of promises.  He spoke to her about his friends, his life, acting as though she was already a part of it. 

 

She supposed she was.  Izaya had told her that Kida would never forget her, and that he’d spend each and every spare moment thinking about her.  It had been comforting then, when she was laying in her hospital bed counting the tiles on the ceiling, but now… she couldn’t help but feel the smallest amount of sadness.

 

Her hand brushed the hair out of his eyes as he slept, his head gently resting on her lap as the rest of his body clung to her legs.  Kida had slept like this ever since the first night they’d spent together out of the hospital, and though it was sweet, it made her heart heavy.

 

She’d done this to him. 

 

Sure, Izaya had asked her to, and she’d done it willingly.  If she were forced to go back in time and was given the option to avoid it, she knew she’d go through all of it all over again.  It had ended the war- something Izaya had promised and delivered- and had helped Kida become the man he was now.  I was unavoidable, fateful, and their shared destiny.

 

But that didn’t help the thrumming of her heart against her ribs as she watched Kida burrow his terrified expression further into her legs. 

 

“Saki...”

 

She could feel his mouth moving against her leg, and hummed slightly in response. If he wanted to speak, then she wouldn’t fill the air with her own words.

 

“Saki, I’m sorry.”

 

His body quaked, small bursts of emotion threatening to break the carefully crafted walls he’d erected and spill out of him.  With nothing left to say, or do, Saki smiled and ran her fingers through his hair properly.  

 

“I know.”

 

Though it wouldn’t stop his fears or regrets, those simple words did seem to calm him.  Even if he couldn’t forgive himself, having Saki know and believe that he was truly sorry was almost enough.  It would never take away his shame, but it would quieten the screaming in his head.

 

Snuggling closer to her, Kida squeezed her legs tightly to his chest.  He planted small, innocent kisses along her fabric-covered thigh, trying in vain to take some of the hurt they’d suffered.  It was unnecessary, in Saki’s opinion, but if it helped Kida to sleep then she wouldn’t ask him to stop. She’d let him touch every inch of her, because she knew how much he’d cherish every second. 

 

Maybe letting him love her in all the ways she thought she didn’t deserve to be loved would be enough to dull the guilt she felt for hurting him so terribly.  To be treated so kindly was something Saki wanted, but it was also something foreign and terrifying.  Her own love for people had always been strong; overwhelming and obsessive, pushing her to overcome her fears and improve herself.  Even when she knew it was wrong, misguided, or one-sided, it made her feel safe to know that she could love so freely.

 

But with Kida, he’d always reciprocated that all-encompassing love.  It roared in her ears whenever he glanced at her, just to check her expression.  It was deafening, terrifying, and altogether… undeserved.

 

However, at moments like these, when Kida is restless and scared, and replaying every action and choice he’s ever made, it doesn’t feel as uncomfortable.  It makes her feel powerful, like she’s some sort of barrier protecting Kida from his past.  Her love for him can move mountains, but it’s his love for her that moves the Earth beneath their feet. Without the undeserved, but desperately wanted, love that Kida gives her, her own love wouldn’t be nearly as effective.  

 

She’d be able to soothe him, but she’d never be able to heal him.  Without this partnership, neither one of them would ever feel safe or warm.

 

The grip Kida has on Saki’s legs loosens a little, stilling her hand so that it can rest in his hair.  He’s falling asleep, finally, and it doesn’t look as though he’s dreaming of whatever it was that woke him earlier.

 

Thankfully, she thinks, they’ve both found peace in each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this was okay! I've never really written Kida or Saki before, but I plan to do some more in the future. Please feel free to point out typos, and thank you for reading!


End file.
